How to write a book
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Chapter 1: Socially withdraw COMPLETELY. Friends and parties are now foreign words to you and exist only in the books you are going to write in the near future, instead of wasting your time in some bars or discotheques. A decent dose of life experience as well as a hellish existential fear in your neck is also essential if your book is not to be about Butzi the happy hops bunny.
Chapter 2: The right equipment. Just grab the next pen, or jump to the next computer. And start typing. You can't be picky here.
Chapter 3: The Idea. Now come up with an exciting story. There are no limits to your imagination! Subliminal social criticism and letting the moral apostle hang out as an author gives extra points.
Chapter 4: Decide now whether you want to have your roller tied or whether you want to print it as a paperback.
Chapter 5: The right advertising. Your book doesn't need advertising. It will sell so well that the hype around your book will be enough advertising.
Chapter 6: Enjoying success. Have a drink, lean back, and grin like an arrogant smok. You've earned it! But always be modest on the outside and pretend to your readers that you have remained on the ground!
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